Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
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