If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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