Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
