He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
