We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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