If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
