Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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