I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
