hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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