she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
