When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize