Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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