Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
