Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
