As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
