i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
