EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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