why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
