And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
