I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
