At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i need some magic done to my vagina
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
