YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
