I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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