I wanna passion pit in your ass
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
