Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
