absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize