Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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