Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
