Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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