yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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