Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
