I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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