You work out of a Hotel?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
