I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
