We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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