Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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