I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
