There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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