I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
