Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
