omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
