My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
