Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
