I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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