We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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