i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
