so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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