I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
