i don't like sucking hair
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
