I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
