Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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