I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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