So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I need moral support for this bender
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
