i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
