Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
