This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
