I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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