It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
