I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
