I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
