wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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