it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i think i just naturally attract stoners
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
