if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I got inside last night via doggy door
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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