Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Oh god it's open bar.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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